Why I love my Boyfriend

Hello folks.
Long time , no see
26th Jul is my special some one’s birthday.
And I thought I would write why I love this guy and I know its cheesy .

So here goes the list:

  1. Because hugging him is the cosiest thing ever
  2. Because he is a foodie. A bengali girl always admires this trait
  3. And he is a great cook. Alu dum posto and manglorean pork are his speciality.
  4. Because he thinks he has become John Abraham by just going to gym for a day
  5. Because his tummy is my punch bag
  6. Because he has a elaborate hair routine- funniest thing you can see every morning
  7. Because he talks nonsense and I get irritaed
  8. Because he doesnt pull chairs and hold doors for me but when I am in great pain(I have AS) , he nurses me back to health
  9. Because he is my IT -career counselor (IT is a bitch !!!!!)
  10. Because he would try and talk to my parents in bengali though he sucks at it(oopsies)
  11. Because despite all the hiccups, we have been in love( the start of this relationship was very weird, you should know)
  12. Because we never judged any book by its cover

Big love to you .:)IMG_20150510_144541

Lessons learned

I am keeping a post of lessons I learn in life. I will keep updating this post as new experiences come my way. So, read on and wait for more.

 

1. Everyone wants a fun, smart, intellectual, caring, passionate lover. But most of the time, people judges others based on their looks.😒

2. Cherish the people who care for you even when you are rude. Once you lose them, there is no way to get them back.😏

3. Speak up when injustice is done to you. Because if you don’t, you will keep obsessing about it rather than living life👍

4. A little dose of love never hurts. Show off your hubby/wife/lover once in a while to your friends and relatives. Write something for them or draw them or compliment them sometimes.😍😍😍

That mushy love

       ” You can’t comprehend the meaning of soul mate as an adult unless you’ll go back in time and reminisce the joy that you’ve felt when you where still young with your first love, your childhood sweetheart.”

I have a cousin of 17 years. She has taken a fancy to a boy. Fortunately, her crush likes her back and asked her out. She came to me for advice and I suggested to give it a try.

Ah!childhood romance and its euphoria.

1. Many are unlucky that they never asked their crush out or worse , the other person did not reciprocate those feelings or been a part of a love triangle😛 . It gives you a much needed lesson on rejection .

2. Back then we mostly thought its the duty of the guy to take the first step and if the guy is not interested , the relation never begins. Later we realise whats with the waiting? Like someone , express it.

3. It shows how life changes and how hope keeps us going. My sister and her boyfriend may not have a future together. They may move to different cities for college in a few months. No matter how bleak the future may seem, people give it a go and think about “happily ever after”.That’s the innocence.

4. Childhood romance is always a bittersweet experience .Few marry their childhood sweetheart. Many break up. Few stay in touch after break-up and see each other grow and realise it was never meant to be. For many ,its too hurtful to be in contact.

So with all the odds, I still suggested my cousin to give it a try. Why? Because she needs to feel the feels – the innocence, the “aww factor”, the “hiding from everyone about it”,the first kiss,the first dance, the first dressing good for him/her, the first low budget date, the first fight, the “it should not affect my studies”, the discussing about him/her with friends, the brutality of expecting too much from anyone and the strength she will derive from it.

Whether its a happy ending or not, she will know better .

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Dark side of one happy mind

Some people suffer from depression and many don’t. But there are people who are sad,upset or depressed but have not gone into depression. These people are happy with a dark side.

One of friend is one such person. She is from a well to do family and is the only child. Her parents fights everyday on everything. Sometimes these arguments get violent. Sometimes her mother is at fault, sometimes her father is , and sometimes the communication is just off between them.Their issue can be solved if they want to . My friend has seen this since her childhood. She has witnessed a broken marriage , fights , screams and wounds.

Did she try solving the issue? Yes, but it didn’t help as her parents didn’t want to co-operate.

Does she not want a normal family? Yes,she does. But she is not getting it from her parents.So, she is determined to find a “normal family” in future-that is- when she finally meets a guy worthy of her love, she wont let anything go wrong in the family she will create with him.

My friend – She is a 25 year old who is giving her best in career, who is independent, who is a feminist, who is a good friend and who is constantly searching for her “normal family”.

Yes, there are days when she doesn’t even want to get up from bed , when she wants to scream. But believe me, she is just another girl who loves to shop , to eat , who knows to have fun. She is just another person looking for her “happily ever after”.

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If I am to advise my college juniors .

(Assuming , I am standing on a podium surrounded by students)

Hello ,

When I was in this college, I was not brainy or famous or pretty(not yet!) or talented . I was just a bespectacled girl who had only three friends and sat on first or second bench in her classes. I passed with an average of 7.3 CGPA and bunked a lot of morning classes. Sometimes I just got 5 out of 50 in internal papers.

I am sure many of you share my experience. Many of you have a fear of what future holds or you often feel that you are not valuable enough.

What I want you all to know is- you are leading a quite life in college then do that ; you are famous and everyone knows you then gain more fame ; you only have a small group of friends then keep this group close to your heart as the friendships you make here are for life; you are talented then showcase it -you may fail ( there may be someone better or it may be just college politics) but at least try; you only mug up and pass exams with flying colours then continue that and don’t listen to the haters; you understand few subjects and sleep during other classes -its OK.

Its OK. I have one advice- don’t be scared of college, future, new people, new place or getting lost in the crowd because you will leave a mark in few people’s lives. Do what you are comfortable with.

Most of you want a job after you complete your 4 years of engineering. During campus placement, all you need to do is pass in all the subjects till your 6th semester, show up on the interview day and put your best foot forward .Rest is luck , whether you like it or not.

Maybe the statement ” pass in all the subjects” contradicts with everything else I said before but I will explain. Like I said , I used to bunk college and fail in few internals. But I always made up for those low scores during final exams. Sometimes I just passed.Sometimes I passed with A or B grade.

All I am saying – don’t be matured always ( its impossible) , just act responsibly sometimes.

P.S- From my class, many didn’t get a job soon after graduation , many aren’t satisfied with their new jobs, but everyone is happy . Happiness does mean good money, good job , good grades but even if you don’t have that you can be happy about the experiences you gained, friends you made, hostel fun you have, tight budget trips you take.

Thank you😊

Mindful chit-chat

Well , I have left my project and am not going to office. As much I enjoy not going to office , I miss those friendly banter with my office mates.

Yes,I love gossiping. But I don’t take part in gossips which I don’t think are appropriate. Well by my standards, a lot of so-called normal gossips are not appropriate.

I remember a girl joined in our office in a different department. She dressed well and she used make up . The guys in my department kept commenting on her make up ,on her choice of red lipstick ; I kept hearing “I don’t like girls putting make up.Its so fake”. Now I completely understand you want a girl with “natural” beauty and charm and you don’t like some one using makeup but that has not given you any right to comment on some one who loves it. I mean she didn’t dress up to impress you and other people or she was not using your money to buy those makeup so please swallow your opinion and never say them loud.

I have also heard people(men &women) in my office commenting on woman’s attire. It varies from color of the attire to their likeness of the attire. Its time to grow up and let people wear what they want to. If they are following the office dress code then no one is entitled to say a word. As long as people are wearing according to the occasion , others should not be commenting.

Last but not the least, being a fat woman is this world is so difficult. I am on the heavy side and yes, I am not good-looking according to beauty standards. People judge you if you wear something short ; they judge if you wear something covering your problem areas. And there are so many articles on how to hide your problem areas. Do they even think that there is a possibility that a fat woman does not want to hide any problem areas and feel normal. Oh yes! fat people judge other fat people for being fat. (haha)

What a world we live in. Gossiping is fine but consider other people’s feelings. Live and let live , people. PEACE!!!

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All strings attached

As I embark on a turning point of my life, all I am obsessed with is my family’s behavioural pattern. Few days ago, my parents got into a fight. I have seen them fighting a lot of times these 24 years.

When I left home at 16 , one of the things that i felt good about was I didnt need to see them fight much. But after my dad’s retirement, he has become a little direction-less. This man was in air force and then was a banker . All he knows is staying within the bounds of a routine and now that he has retired, he doesnot know what to do with his time. Hence he is irritated and my mum is pissed because all she imagined – after all these years of fights and differences, she wanted to grow old together beautifully.

As I was saying,this time they fought when they came to visit me . This was a fight which went out of proportions. I reacted and I reacted bad. The whole fight keeps repeating in my head.Sometimes I think the fight was my fault.

I am taking leaves from my work for four months to go back to my hometown with my parents  and get better(I have spondylitis).This decision was taken yesterday. This decision made them a team again. They are communicating about packing and other small stuffs. They even called my boyfriend and asked if he is ok with it. Bengali parents – this a great advantage ; they are progressive

I can pen down all lot wrong doings that my parents do to eachother and all the fun that we used to have during annual vacations.

Few days ago, I told a friend of mine-“my parents are a boon to me but a bane to eachother”. I dont know if I am correct about the last part . But I thrilled to go home and get better and I am scared to encounter their fights. I miss them but sometimes when they fight and start the blame game, I think my head will explode. I want to marry and be a good parent to my child just like my parents are but I dont want to be like them with my husband. Do that make me a bad daughter ? do putting down such facts make a bad person? Maybe. With parents,its not that black and white.