As I embark on a turning point of my life, all I am obsessed with is my family’s behavioural pattern. Few days ago, my parents got into a fight. I have seen them fighting a lot of times these 24 years.
When I left home at 16 , one of the things that i felt good about was I didnt need to see them fight much. But after my dad’s retirement, he has become a little direction-less. This man was in air force and then was a banker . All he knows is staying within the bounds of a routine and now that he has retired, he doesnot know what to do with his time. Hence he is irritated and my mum is pissed because all she imagined – after all these years of fights and differences, she wanted to grow old together beautifully.
As I was saying,this time they fought when they came to visit me . This was a fight which went out of proportions. I reacted and I reacted bad. The whole fight keeps repeating in my head.Sometimes I think the fight was my fault.
I am taking leaves from my work for four months to go back to my hometown with my parents and get better(I have spondylitis).This decision was taken yesterday. This decision made them a team again. They are communicating about packing and other small stuffs. They even called my boyfriend and asked if he is ok with it. Bengali parents – this a great advantage ; they are progressive
I can pen down all lot wrong doings that my parents do to eachother and all the fun that we used to have during annual vacations.
Few days ago, I told a friend of mine-“my parents are a boon to me but a bane to eachother”. I dont know if I am correct about the last part . But I thrilled to go home and get better and I am scared to encounter their fights. I miss them but sometimes when they fight and start the blame game, I think my head will explode. I want to marry and be a good parent to my child just like my parents are but I dont want to be like them with my husband. Do that make me a bad daughter ? do putting down such facts make a bad person? Maybe. With parents,its not that black and white.
My second post. Another widely discussed topic. Love, relationships, dating.
I was talking to a childhood friend few days ago. She is dating one guy from her college but still hung up on her school time sweetheart. Now, I know the first thing that comes to any one’s mind is “stupid gal”, “naive”. But hold your judgements. There is more.
She and her guy do not have anything in common. That’s a good thing generally because one has so much talk about and learn about the person he/she is dating. But here lies the problem. The guy isn’t interested in knowing her but he wants to marry her. Because , he is the kind of guy who loves only to marry.
But are we that old-fashioned anymore? Compatibility is important. And how do you find someone compatible- only by meeting new people more and more.
Yes , we Indians should date more. By dating , I dont mean just getting yourself a pretty girl or a Richie Rich guy. We need to meet more people, get out of our usual peer circles ,establish honest friendships and then see where it goes. And when it is not meant to be, just break up honestly. Thats important. If you are dating, you should be able to break up with dignity and honesty.
But, if it goes well – if you fall head over the heels with this guy/girl,then go ahead and say the “L” word.
And dont marry just because you have a relation with a guy/ girl . Marry because you are happy with this person, because this person know you so well that you can do something embarrasing and be fine with it, because you love each other and you have no second thoughts about it.